It’s been a while since my last post and the reason for that is that I needed time for adjustment. My mother put it like this, “We’ve been lucky for so long that it’s just our turn now.” She may have a point, but it still hurts like hell. Random attacks of tears are still something that I have to get used to. I’m not really a cryer by nature so when a jag hits, it hits hard. One minute I’m not even thinking about it and the next I’m crying in waves. I’m beginning to realize that all it takes is one random thought to get me going.
The consequences of having crying turrets is that my current manuscript is limping along, stalled out in parts. My Muse has begun creating stories again but my brain has an inability to process them, put them in order, or lay them out in a way that would make sense. I do admit that I had one really good day where a scene flew onto the page, but once it was there it just stared back at me blinking its eyes like, “Okay good. What’s next?”
I have no idea.
I do have the next few weeks off from my daytime job so I’ve set little writing goals for myself. Nothing too strenuous. I don’t want to sprain anything in my head, for crying out loud (no pun intended). I’m satisfied that I’ve managed to make plans to get something done. I made similar goals on our recent trip to visit family but, of course, I didn’t complete any them. I was with family after all but I feel better just knowing that planning to write had been on my mind.
In between the tearful chaos, there is the life chaos. My Man and I are empty nesters and have made room for Mom to move in with us. She’s still thinking about it. Most of her family is here but she likes to spend some time in the house my father built three hours away in a little farming community. It has good hunting, quiet days and sweet neighbors but, sadly, no family. When she’s there, she’s there alone which I don’t really like, especially since there was a snake in her house today! I thank God everyday for technology so that I can check on her… and so that she can look up on YouTube how to shoo a snake out of her house with her broom. EEEK!
For now we are just taking one day at a time, one breath at a time, one crying jag at a time. Until we can make any final decisions, life goes on in this kind of limbo without Dad here with us…which unfortunately is our new normal.